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Snow White Never Married Hitler
Family Law News, Vol. 17, No. 2
C. Rick Chamberlin, JD, San Francisco; Expanded for the Family Law
News by Jennifer Jackson, JD
Rick Chamberlin was one of the truly bright lights in the practice
of family law, whose wit and gentlemanly ways turned every case against
him into a truly delightful case with him. His death in 1993 was
a great loss; we miss him. When I began practicing family law, I attended
one of his seminars for beginning family lawyers. To my delight, his outline
survives him. Rick's associate, Kate Rockas, was kind enough to share
his outline (reprinted here unedited as the italicized portions of this
article) which we expanded into this article for News readers with
her permission.
A. Is burnout an essential part of our practice
Since the family lawyer is dealing with pain on a day to day basis
in the context of an adversarial rather than a healing process, stress
is a given. Who among us is not "burned out?"
B. Is avoiding burnout really coping with stress?
The phone is ringing off the hook, deadlines are passing you by right
and left, vicious FAXes are pouring in from your opposing counsel and
clients, and decisions are going against you. It happens to all of us.
How do you cope? Are you "Unavailable?" "In conference?" "Away
from your desk?" "In Bermuda?" Sitting in your office with the lights
out and your head down on your desk, sobbing?
1. COPING WITH BURNOUT
a. Probably easiest way is independent wealth
If you're living off a trust fund or a Sugar Daddy/Mommy, your options
are wide open. Quit. Go to Paris. Who needs this aggravation?
b. Probably realistic way is to manage stress
So we have stress. Best to learn to manage it, rather than ignore
its deleterious effects on our ability to help our clients.
2. Managing stress: we'll attempt some practical tips
II. Practical Pointers
A. Generally: Practice in a way that suits you, not someone else
We all have role models to whom we constantly compare ourselves. It
could be their style and demeanor. Frankly, we all wanted to be just like
Rick; on more than one occasion I asked myself "how would Rick have dealt
with this? What would Rick have said? What would Rick have done?". How
could we emulate his marvelous perspective? Where did he buy his ties?
It could be their strength, thoroughness, methods of preparing and
working up a case, talent for public speaking, client control. However,
attempting to imitate a colleague often backfires: his strength becomes
stubbornness when you try it; her client control becomes insensitivity
in you, his talent for public speaking becomes your insufferable stage-hogging.
It isn't productive to compare yourself to other attorneys or to strap
yourself to their styles, when you may be losing the very qualities these
attorneys admire in you.
1. Sometimes difficult, depending on office
Unless you are a sole practitioner or the reigning family lawyer in
the firm, the tone of your practice will be set by others. You will need
to feel your way both in terms of whether or not the general practicing
style of the office suits you, and, if it does not, whether your own style
of practice will allowed to flourish - or, at the least, tolerated.
2. Probably worth a change in jobs if stress is serious
because of this issue
If your own style of practice is unacceptable to the firm
or to your "boss", and if you can't pull the wagon in the harness (or
are simply not a "team player"), something has to give. You need to explore
your options, which include finding an office whose style more nearly
matches your own, and setting up your own office, where you answer to
no one.
B. Maintain a sense of "yourself" in the practice. Attempt
to avoid being reactive.
One of Rick's talents was his ability to maintain his calm
while all about him were losing theirs, to coin a phrase. Once you have
discovered the most effective style of practice for yourself, do not be
dragged into or down to another's style. It is easy to fall into the trap
of continually reacting to another person's bad behavior. When you are
reacting, you are not in charge. This is not to say that bad behavior
should beget bad behavior; it is simply more effective to stop - think
- remember and employ your own strategy of the case.
C. Identify Clients you can and can't tolerate
1. Don't take the ones you can't work with, no matter how much
you want the business
How many of us have been seduced by a big retainer, in spite
of the prospective client waiving ten million red flags in our faces?
The stress of the "one bad apple" who keeps you up at night eclipses the
90% of the practice that is going well. Is the big retainer worth the
misery this client will put you through?
2. Develop a system for identifying those who won't work for you and
a list of people you can send them to
Each of us carries his or her own personal baggage into the practice of
family law. You may have been through your own painful divorce, you may
detest weak women; if your former husband walked through the door, would
you take the case? Think twice about representing someone just like him.
Identify the common characteristics of those clients you have despised,
learn to recognize those attributes in potential clients, and reject their
cases. Define client patterns of other attorneys, and develop a referral
list of attorneys who will take those clients you learn to reject.
D. Avoid over-identification with your client
Perhaps the primary danger in family law is to take on the
client's cause as your own like Superman's cape. Not that you cannot effectively
advocate for your client, just don't succumb to symbiosis, lose your perspective.
These are the clients who are most likely to turn on you viciously at
any time during the case.
1. Remember there is always another side to the
story
Anticipate the other side of the story, and, if you must recite
the story in a declaration, build the potential other side into it. How
many times has your face been red when you receive the responsive declaration
to your righteous recitation of the heinous "facts?" How many opposing
parties have wanted to negotiate with you when completely stripped of
their dignity?
2. It is highly unusual for Snow White to marry Hitler
One good question to ask your client is "What is the worst thing your
ex would say about you?" In any case, "too good to be true" and "too bad
to be true" are both true: be suspicious.
3. Struggle to avoid unrealistic expectations on the
part of the client
If your client believes that you are her knight in shining armor,
that you have an "in" with the judge, or that her case is ironclad, she
is going to be disappointed and angry when proven wrong. Do thorough reality
testing; apprise your client of the risks, and it will be much easier
to negotiate a settlement or to accept the outcome of a hearing.
4. It is the client's life, not yours
Perspective, perspective, perspective.
E. Identify Opposing Counsel You can and can't tolerate
1. If you know you do not mix with opposing counsel,
don't take a case opposite him/her
Usually, it only takes one case to know that you cannot stand
a colleague, that you are not effective against his or her style, and
so on. When possible, find out who is on the other side of a potential
client's case. When you know that any case with X is a case from hell,
don't take it.
If the situation is truly serious, warn your client that if X takes the
other side's case, you will have to withdraw and then do so.
2. Don't respond in kind to obnoxious opposing counsel
a. Relates to discussion above of "being reactive"
b. If you're sucked into someone else's style of practice
you can't win for yourself or your client
There's a good reason why someone else's style isn't yours: it doesn't
work for you!
c. It's very difficult not to respond in kind but try,
try not to
F. Establish routine office procedures and follow them
1. Manage your calendar
a. Make time for everything on your calendar:
deadlines, prep time, etc.
Do you put tasks that you dread on the "back burner", often
until it's too late? Do you save projects until the day before they are
due, and then stress out your client with impossible demands at the last
minute? Do you allow yourself enough time to prepare for a hearing? Do
you take on more work than you can do?
2. Think about managing the telephone
What is your telephone policy? If you answer every telephone
call within twenty four hours, the call you have dreaded making often
turns out to be not as bad as you thought it would be. In any case, it
doesn't hang over your head. Consider having your staff make some of the
calls for you, if only to reassure clients and opposing counsel that you
are not ignoring them, that you are thinking about them.
G. Maintain a dividing line between work and non-work lives
1. This works differently for everyone Some people shouldn't
bring work home (like CRC)
Some attorneys are perfectly happy working at home.
If you are not: Be strict with your clients and staff. Even if you have
to lie about your availability, they need to learn - and you need to set
up a routine with them about - how to deal with situations as if you really
were in Spain when all you are doing is sitting in your hot tub at home.
Be strict with yourself. Have rules and stick to them. Stay at the office
and finish.
2. Give yourself time off and recognize how much you need
Have a policy about time off and stick to it. If you don't come
in on the weekends, plan for that - stay late on weekdays. Have a vacation
policy and make your staff and clients aware of it. Cross off vacation
days on your calendar a year in advance and honor the schedule as sacred
- don't schedule hearings, conferences, or meetings during that time.
Plan AT LEAST a week off every three months so that you have something
concrete to look forward to.
H. Don't be afraid to ask questions
Nobody knows everything. Have no shame - everyone needs advice
at some time or another, especially at the beginning. Your best
resources are your colleagues, court staff, and professionals with whom
you have developed rapport. No one will ever tell you to get lost; these
people know that they may need your expertise sometime and will now be
comfortable calling you.
I. Maintain a sense of humor
Amen.
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